A married couple was fast asleep when the wife suddenly nudged her husband.<\/p>\n
“Honey! Wake up!”<\/p>\n
The husband groaned.<\/p>\n
“What?”<\/p>\n
“I think there’s a burglar downstairs.”<\/p>\n
He cracked one eye open.<\/p>\n
“It’s two in the morning.”<\/p>\n
“I know!”<\/p>\n
“Call the police.”<\/p>\n
Then he rolled over and went back to sleep.<\/p>\n
A few minutes later, another shove.<\/p>\n
“Honey!”<\/p>\n
“What now?”<\/p>\n
“I heard footsteps.”<\/p>\n
This time he sat up.<\/p>\n
“Seriously?”<\/p>\n
“Yes!”<\/p>\n
With a dramatic sigh, he climbed out of bed.<\/p>\n
Wearing only his boxers and carrying a baseball bat, he marched downstairs like an action movie hero.<\/p>\n
He checked the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Nothing.<\/p>\n
He checked the living room.<\/p>\n
Nothing.<\/p>\n
He even looked inside the laundry room.<\/p>\n
Still nothing.<\/p>\n
After ten minutes, he trudged back upstairs.<\/p>\n
“There is nobody in this house.”<\/p>\n
His wife frowned.<\/p>\n
“Are you sure?”<\/p>\n
“Positive.”<\/p>\n
“No burglar?”<\/p>\n
“No burglar.”<\/p>\n
“No suspicious noises?”<\/p>\n
“No.”<\/p>\n
The husband dropped the bat on the floor.<\/p>\n
“Can I go back to sleep now?”<\/p>\n
His wife crossed her arms.<\/p>\n
Then she said:<\/p>\n
“Well that’s disappointing.”<\/p>\n
The husband blinked.<\/p>\n
“Disappointing?”<\/p>\n
“Yes.”<\/p>\n
“Why would that be disappointing?”<\/p>\n
She smiled innocently.<\/p>\n
“Because if there had been a burglar, maybe he’d have noticed I got a haircut.”<\/p>\n
The husband stared at her.<\/p>\n
Silent.<\/p>\n
Confused.<\/p>\n
Terrified.<\/p>\n
Then she added:<\/p>\n
“And maybe he’d have noticed the new curtains.”<\/p>\n
Still silence.<\/p>\n
“And maybe he’d have noticed the new dress I bought last week.”<\/p>\n
The husband swallowed.<\/p>\n
Slowly.<\/p>\n
“I noticed.”<\/p>\n
She raised an eyebrow.<\/p>\n
“When?”<\/p>\n
The man thought for several seconds.<\/p>\n
Then answered honestly:<\/p>\n
“Right after the burglar left.”<\/p>\n
The couch became his bed for the rest of the night.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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