A married couple was asleep when the wife suddenly nudged her husband at 2 a.m.<\/p>\n
“Wake up!”<\/p>\n
The husband groaned.<\/p>\n
“What?”<\/p>\n
“I think there’s a burglar downstairs!”<\/p>\n
He rolled over and muttered:<\/p>\n
“Call the police.”<\/p>\n
A few minutes later, his wife shook him again.<\/p>\n
“Honey… I heard footsteps!”<\/p>\n
This time, the husband reluctantly got out of bed.<\/p>\n
He stumbled downstairs in his boxers, grabbed a baseball bat, and searched the house like a hero.<\/p>\n
He checked the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Nothing.<\/p>\n
He checked the living room.<\/p>\n
Nothing.<\/p>\n
He checked the hallway.<\/p>\n
Still nothing.<\/p>\n
Finally, he walked back upstairs.<\/p>\n
He opened the bedroom door and said:<\/p>\n
“See? Nobody’s down there.”<\/p>\n
His wife was sitting on the edge of the bed.<\/p>\n
She looked strangely disappointed.<\/p>\n
The husband frowned.<\/p>\n
“What’s wrong?”<\/p>\n
She stared at him for a moment.<\/p>\n
Then quietly said:<\/p>\n
“That’s the problem.”<\/p>\n
He froze.<\/p>\n
“What problem?”<\/p>\n
She smiled nervously.<\/p>\n
“I wasn’t worried about someone breaking into the house.”<\/p>\n
“I was worried about someone breaking into our marriage.”<\/p>\n
The husband stared at her.<\/p>\n
“What are you talking about?”<\/p>\n
She pointed toward the window.<\/p>\n
“I heard footsteps because I saw your mistress leaving.”<\/p>\n
The husband went completely silent.<\/p>\n
Then she added:<\/p>\n
“So… do you still want me to call the police?”<\/p>\n
He slowly put down the baseball bat.<\/p>\n
“No.”<\/p>\n
“Good.”<\/p>\n
She picked up her phone.<\/p>\n
“Because I already called the divorce lawyer.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A married couple was asleep when the wife suddenly nudged her husband at 2 a.m. “Wake up!” The husband groaned. “What?” “I think there’s a burglar downstairs!” He rolled over … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":64992,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-64991","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-best-best-story"],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/discoverstory9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64991","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/discoverstory9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/discoverstory9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discoverstory9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discoverstory9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=64991"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/discoverstory9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64991\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":65102,"href":"https:\/\/discoverstory9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64991\/revisions\/65102"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discoverstory9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/64992"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/discoverstory9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=64991"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discoverstory9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=64991"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/discoverstory9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=64991"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}