A married couple was fast asleep when the wife suddenly nudged her husband.
“Honey! Wake up!”
The husband groaned.
“What?”
“I think there’s a burglar downstairs.”
He cracked one eye open.
“It’s two in the morning.”
“I know!”
“Call the police.”
Then he rolled over and went back to sleep.
A few minutes later, another shove.
“Honey!”
“What now?”
“I heard footsteps.”
This time he sat up.
“Seriously?”
“Yes!”
With a dramatic sigh, he climbed out of bed.
Wearing only his boxers and carrying a baseball bat, he marched downstairs like an action movie hero.
He checked the kitchen.
Nothing.
He checked the living room.
Nothing.
He even looked inside the laundry room.
Still nothing.
After ten minutes, he trudged back upstairs.
“There is nobody in this house.”
His wife frowned.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“No burglar?”
“No burglar.”
“No suspicious noises?”
“No.”
The husband dropped the bat on the floor.
“Can I go back to sleep now?”
His wife crossed her arms.
Then she said:
“Well that’s disappointing.”
The husband blinked.
“Disappointing?”
“Yes.”
“Why would that be disappointing?”
She smiled innocently.
“Because if there had been a burglar, maybe he’d have noticed I got a haircut.”
The husband stared at her.
Silent.
Confused.
Terrified.
Then she added:
“And maybe he’d have noticed the new curtains.”
Still silence.
“And maybe he’d have noticed the new dress I bought last week.”
The husband swallowed.
Slowly.
“I noticed.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“When?”
The man thought for several seconds.
Then answered honestly:
“Right after the burglar left.”
The couch became his bed for the rest of the night.
