A married couple was asleep when the wife suddenly nudged her husband at 2 a.m.
“Wake up!”
The husband groaned.
“What?”
“I think there’s a burglar downstairs!”
He rolled over and muttered:
“Call the police.”
A few minutes later, his wife shook him again.
“Honey… I heard footsteps!”
This time, the husband reluctantly got out of bed.
He stumbled downstairs in his boxers, grabbed a baseball bat, and searched the house like a hero.
He checked the kitchen.
Nothing.
He checked the living room.
Nothing.
He checked the hallway.
Still nothing.
Finally, he walked back upstairs.
He opened the bedroom door and said:
“See? Nobody’s down there.”
His wife was sitting on the edge of the bed.
She looked strangely disappointed.
The husband frowned.
“What’s wrong?”
She stared at him for a moment.
Then quietly said:
“That’s the problem.”
He froze.
“What problem?”
She smiled nervously.
“I wasn’t worried about someone breaking into the house.”
“I was worried about someone breaking into our marriage.”
The husband stared at her.
“What are you talking about?”
She pointed toward the window.
“I heard footsteps because I saw your mistress leaving.”
The husband went completely silent.
Then she added:
“So… do you still want me to call the police?”
He slowly put down the baseball bat.
“No.”
“Good.”
She picked up her phone.
“Because I already called the divorce lawyer.”
